Friendship

Ever since I was young, I can remember always being a very eager to please person. I always wanted everyone to be my friend, and I would do almost anything to keep them. Even the ones that treated me terribly...

           As i've grown older, I have realized that, unfortunately you go through a few cycles of friends. First, when you get married, when you have children; and then of course when you move a couple times. You find out very quickly who will keep in touch and who won't. 

 I have a handful of friends in my arsenal, that I know that I can call on for anything. Each one of them has helped me grow into who I am, and who I want to be. 

         I have also realized that it's the little things that count the most-it may sound cliche'-but whether it's a note in the mail saying hello, or gift card for a coffee, or the fact that you can stay on the phone for hours. Sometimes, not even talking to one another; almost like you were in the same room, what a comfort that is. 

       Over the last two years, I have learned a lot about myself and about my relationship with my husband. Since we have been off base, I haven't had a lot of friends-whether that means the friends you can run to for a cup of sugar, or someone to tell your secrets to. 

  I have learned that my husband is truly one of my best friends, I never saw him as such before. Which is where some of our problems started. I have learned to lean on him more, to trust that even if I don't have anyone else around, he is just what I need. I love having him around, now that's not to say we get irritated with one another. It would be too artificial if we didn't! :) 

   I think one of the reasons I want to live off base at our next duty station, is because I enjoy our time together. I enjoy when he comes home, we all hang out together-we don't have people around constantly. I know that it is going to be a bit different when we move, and I want it to be. I want us to have people around, but I also want us to still be around one another; enjoying each others' company. 

      My beautiful, kind friend Sarah posted a video on her blog the other day. It was about God, and how He is always there for us. No matter what. If you are away from Him for a time, decided to come back-He is there. No questions asked. 
                I was very apprehensive about going to church with Tj when we got married. He is Catholic, and I was raised in the Methodist church. Everything, and I mean everything was different. It was the fear of the unknown-but once I was allowed to see for myself, and make my own decisions-I realized that I needed God in my life. 
          I am so thankful to Him for strengthening my marriage, my love for my children, and of course my beautiful friends. 

                I have been trying to pray at nighttime before bed. I used to find it difficult to pray-we never used to pray growing up, at least before bed. I always wondered, how do you pray? Is it ok to ask for help on an exam? To make you a better mom, cook, wife? Is it selfish to ask for things for yourself? Even if it's money, maybe going down a few pant sizes? 

 I've always felt a bit uneasy speaking to God-but each time I find it easier and easier. 

  All of my friends believe in God, and know God. My relationship is growing with Him, and with my beautiful group of friends, I think it will only grow stronger. 

 I love you all, I am thankful for you all-I pray for you all every night. I thank God for you every night. For making me a better person, for making me believe in myself. I can only hope that I am as good of a friend to you, as you are to me. 

Love,

Sam